Small Room

(2 พ.ย. 50)

 

Cmaj7                   Fmaj7

Walk into this cube; I thought it was too small.

Cmaj7                   Fmaj7

Look at the Ceiling; I thought it’s way too high.

 

 

Am                       Em

          And when I met you, I changed the way I see the world.

Am                       F                           G

Something inside me has changed.. has changed..

 

 

C                          Em

I belong to you; I won’t live without you.

F                                              G

I don’t want to get back to a small room alone again.

C                                             Em

And no more scary high ceiling too.

F                                                                 G

I want to stay here in this warm and cozy space that you’ve told me.

C       Em     F                                                                

I love you. You change the way I perceive the world

          G                                    Cmaj7/Fmaj7/Cmaj7/Fmaj7/Cmaj7…

and you bring my whole life back forever.

 

When we run for something, we can never find it.

When we hide from something, we can never figure it out.

When we stop doing things, take a break, and relax, that something is searching for us.

It's just if we're ready enough to show up and fast enough to grab it.

 

What a wonderful world that makes things happen.

What a beautiful day to live.

What a meaningful thing to share.

 

I'm back on track.

1981 - born

1984 - St'John kindergarten

1987 - St'John Elementary school

1993 - Surasakmontree High School

1998 - Chulalongkorn University

2002.05 - Undergraduate Graduation

2002.06 - Trip to the US

2002.08 - My first job at SMPC and PET

2002.12 - Start working for Shell

2003.01 - ASHRAE trip to Chicago, IL 

2004.05 - Resign from Shell

2005.01 - Join Kiak's company

2005.04 - Freelance at P'Jack's firm

2005.08 - Start Fall 2005 at the University of Michigan

2005.12 - Trip to LA (khun Ya and R mouy)

2006.03 - Thainight 2006

2006.05 - Thainight 2007 starts + going back to Thailand

2006.08 - Back to the US

2006.08 - Marryland Trip

2006.11 - Cedarpoint

2006.12 - Road trip to the west

2007.01 - Thainight 2007

2007.02 - Peurto Rico trip

2007.04 - PA trip

2007.05 - Master's Graduation

2007.05 - LA Yosemite SF trip

2007.05.11 - Happy birthday to me

 

....

 

What's next???

 

Time flies so fast. There is some marked change in stuhmoo production. This year, 2007, we have a new sound card, monitor speakers, a PRS guitar, a Boogie amp, and a Pod effect. Since this is a marked development, I would love to embed it here in the space.

 

ref: http://hmoo82.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!4A49805E5FEE587B!208.entry

People are fragile. Because they are fragile, they need reasons. Such reasons that help them go through days. Such reasons that encourage them to move on another day. Sometimes, or I would say most of the times, those reasons may not be really reasonable, but socially acceptable.

 

...

 

That's rediculous.

 

...

 

Have no more to say... Recently, I feel like I lack of imagination. It's really hard to squeeze my thoughts out into words. Pathetic I am.

 

If I wouldn't have known music, I wouldn't have been myself today.

 

Music is just awesome!

 

....

 

My December,

words and music by hmoo

 

In a long, long night; Eventhough there is no star, I'd love to dream of you.

In a long, long day; Even though there is no one, having you in my dream is my everything. 

 

....

There will be the light at the end of the tunnel. Always.

 

If you feel like your trust is useless, that means you don't trust enough. In other words, you don't trust your trust.

 

...

 

Are you brave enough to truely trust something and truely believe in your trust?

The first one I've met her 13 years ago. She is now waiting for my return in Thailand. We have been through a lot of things together. For the other one, it's just for a year. She's now with me here in the US. We don't know each other much, but I trust her. Actaully, I trust them. I know they're always waiting for me everytime I lost. I know sometimes, during my hectic days, I leave them alone, but eventually I need to get back and embrace them tightly. I find it everytime I do I have left them for a while and I feel ashame. It's not fair at all for them to keep waiting while I'm wandering around. I'm sorry. I'm back. I'm here to serve you the best I can. I'll play you the songs we used to sing together. I'll play some new songs for you. All of these to return your time you've spent waiting, for everything you've done, and for tomorrow in that you make me believe.

 

My guitars...

 

I apologize I'm not the best player, but is this enough to be with me forever?

 

...

 

People asked 'why do I love to put it this way?'

I replied 'this is becuase it is the way I love.'

Sometimes I'm torn, sometimes I'm fixed.

just sometimes.

...

And those times go.

And I move.

And things change.

And those times return.

And I'm torn sometimes,

And sometimes, i'm fixed.

And those times go.

And I move.

And thing change.

And...

...

...

And I die.

And those times remain.

And things change.

And I die.

And it's just sometimes.

... My time has come ...

... It sends shiver down my spine ...

... I sometimes wish I've never been born at all ...

... Any ways the wind blows ...

 

... Nothing really matters to me... to me... ...

 

...

 

The thing I've seen is the thing I've never expected to happen.

Here it comes my friends.

It just occurs to me as it does to you.

It comes fast, furious, but it leaves with no trace.

It's destructive, and merciless.

Ever and never, I'll remember it as, I'm sure, you do.

Man, I've thought you're fool, but I am too.

Man, I now know what you're up to at those times.

Man, I'm sorry.

Sad but true.

I'm you.

 

...

 

ever and ever and ever again

 

...

 

It's just neverending

Nash says...

 

The reasons I am.

 

I say...

 

The reasons I become.

 

...

 

Oct 27th, 2006

 

Now, I say change is the only certainty.

Should I have listened to the whole world?

 

Would that turn out to be good to me?

 

I didn't however.

 

...

 

Keep up to my faith.

 

...

 

People said hope hurts no one; expectation does.

 

But how could we hope with no expectation?

 

That's rediculous.

 

...

 

 I'll be doing what I've done 'til my strength runs out.

 

At least, I don't let the world take over my pride, even if I fall.

 

...

 

I'm tired.

 

...

 

7 months to go. Wait for me, see what I become, feel what I feel, and as the time comes, I'll be back there again.  

 

...

How do people look toward tomorrow without a glance on today?

How could we build up tomorrow without today?

How would future be without present?

etc.

 

They are all the same question with different ways to say.

But we, or maybe just I, might not be able to balance our acts today in order to optimize tomorrow.

How could we know what is the best thing to do for today and tomorrow?

 

Question how again...

 

Sometimes, I don't think it's necessary to keep answering those questions, but that might be a good idea to keep on moving while remind ourselves that we still have these questions unanswered.

 

Final Fantasy VIII
Eyes on Me

 

Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

 

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Oh, did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

 

*Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

 

So let me come to you
Close as I wanted to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you

 

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

 

....

 

Was it real or just my fantasy?

Did I misinterpret it?

Let me pince myself and see...

But if it's just a dream...

That I had your eyes on me...

Could I keep on sleeping... live with the dream... and live with my fantasy?

 

Anyhow, did you ever know that I had mine on you?

 

....

 

หึหึหึหึ ในที่สุดก็เป็นแชมป์ซะที ลุ้นขี้แตกขี้แตนเลยวุ้ย

 

แต่ไม่มีภาพเด็ดของอิตาลีเลย  มีแต่ของ Zidane แห่ง King of Fighter อย่างเดียว

 

 

Well... I am back here in Thailand for a month already.... It's been a while not updating this space. I really don't have time lately. Actually, I would rather say I'm not in any mood to write. Days here hurt a lot. Living with nothing to do for no one makes me feel like a dead. However, I have no intention to find anythinkg to do now. It's kind of like a dilemma... I am confused somehow... At first I really wanted to make my days here really meaningful, but, unfortunately this is how life is, what you expect will never come true. The only thing I came here for I've lost it. I couldn't blame anything and anyone for this, but to be honest I really have a hard time settling my life down. This is the would-be-called first time for me to write this space so explicit. I know.. this wouldn't be that explicit for those who really want to know the story, but this is clear enough for my to keep this memories for good.Yes... I really want to keep it.. I want to see how stupid I am now when I read this entry in the future.

 

Waiting is harsh; but losing your days would hurt you more. There are two kinds of waiting; waiting while you could see how tomorrow would become, and the other is blind waiting. It's sad to know how bad tomorrow would be and still keep on waiting. It's sadder to do so and not even think about doing a thing to make the future any better.

 

Song for today...

 

Goodbye song

by Byrd & Heart

(I can't find a full lyrics; I leave here what I remember)

 

Verse I:

You may be right about me baby, and you could be right about him too.

Loving you was more than I could say or do, but will you still miss me though we're through?

 

Verse II:

When you say goodbye, I was blue. Yes love gets you high but I can't do.

For the last time  ... that I love you.

And so I sing this goodbye song to you.

 

Chorus:

You would not seem my love in every way, but I won't blame your heart in any way.

 

Verse III:

All that I (please) is gone away. How can I go on when you won't stay?

My only love has gone so now I long for yesterday.

And so I'll play this goodbye song to you.

 

Solo:

Days I never thought it could come...

Days I think I can't get some...

Days I will live with no one...

 

Days I longed for...

Days I need just a call...

Days I will live my life all for...

 

When will you two unite?

 

There was a dream with no one.

A dream containing no one.

It was just because of the belief in someone.

So there possibly was a dream with no one.

 

...

 

There is no dream and no one.

No dream containing no one.

It is just because of the lost of someone.

So there is no dream and no one.

 

...

 

There will be a dream with someone.

A dream containing someone.

It will be possible only if there will be someone.

So let's start with someone,

 

...

 

and surround someone with a dream.

 

...

Nerd Test

 

...Man...

I am 71% nerdy.

I am a Mid-Rank Nerd.

Ha Ha

That sounds fun!!!

 

 

BUT!!!

I am not a computer geek!!

I am such a tech support nightmare.

..Well..

What's wrong with that??

I just don't know.

 

งานที่สัมผัสได้ มองได้เห็นด้วยตาเปล่า แต่ไม่เข้าใจ คนเขาเรียกว่างานแอ๊บสแตร๊ก

โดยมากก็จะนึกกันไปถึงภาพของคุณปิกัสโซ่ เจ้าพ่อภาพแอ๊บสแตร๊ก

จุดมุ่งหมายของแอ๊บสแตร๊กคืออะไร ใครจะไปรู้เท่าทันคนวาดได้

 

งานเขียนแอ๊บสแตร๊กมีไหมที่อื่น ผมไม่รู้ รู้แต่ว่าผมอยากเขียนให้มันแอ๊บสแตร็ก

 

ทำไมอยากเขียนให้มันแอ๊บสแตร็ก อยากให้คนอ่านอ่านไม่รู้เรื่องหรือไง

เปล่า.. ไม่ได้ตั้งใจจะเขียนให้คนอื่นอ่านไม่รู้เรื่อง แต่อยากเขียนให้ตัวเองอ่านไม่รุ้เรื่องต่างหาก

 

.........

 

เรื่องบางเรื่องมันหนักหนา เรื่องบางเรื่องมันยุ่งยาก แต่พอผ่านไปแล้วมันก็จิ๊บจ้อย

เรื่องที่เรามองวันนี้ ด้วยมุมมองวันนี้ พอวันพรุ่งนี้กลายเป็นเรื่องอื่นเพราะเราไม่ใช่คนเดิมเดียวกับเมื่อวาน

 

บันทึกช่วยเตือนใจเราเมื่อเวลาผ่าน   ทำให้เราชัดเจนกับวันที่พ้นไป

คืองานเขียนบันทึกประวัติศาสตร์เสี้ยวเวลาหนึ่งในมุมมองหนึ่งของคน ๆ หนึ่ง

 

แต่ผมไม่ต้องการ

 

........

 

ก็แค่อยากให้เรื่องที่มันเคยใหญ่ในมุมมองเมื่อวาน โดนตีความด้วยมุมมองวันนี้

โดยที่ความคิดวันนี้ไม่ถูกบิดเบือนด้วยความชัดเจนของเมื่อวันวาน

 

ก็แค่อยากรู้ว่า เรื่องใหญ่เมื่อวาน พอมาวันนี้ยังจะนึกออกใหม เมื่ออ่านจากสิ่งที่ถูกฝังอยู่ในแอ๊บสแตร๊ก

ก็แค่อยากรู้ว่า เราจะสามารถมองเห็นอดีตที่เคยใหญ่โตผ่านช่องทางเล็ก ๆ ที่ไม่ชัดเจนไหม

 

จะได้รู้ว่า เรื่องที่ผ่านพ้นมันใหญ่จริงแค่ไหน มีความหมายในความทรงจำแค่ไหน

จะได้รู้ว่า สิ่งที่เคยเป็นความรู้สึกในวันเก่า ๆ มันเป็นยังไง ควรค่าแก่การจำแค่ไหน

 

ถ้านึกออก มันคงจะสำคัญ น่าจดจำ

ถ้านึกไม่ออก ก็นี่มันเรื่องเล็กนิดเดียวนี่หว่า

 

บันทึกความรู้สึก ไม่ใช่เหตุการณ์

บันทึกสิ่งที่ควรจำ ไม่ใช่ประวัติศาสตร์

 

........

 

ก็เรื่องมันแอ๊บสแตร๊ก

 

 

(นี่หว่า)